p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
