Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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