It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
