is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
