The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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