This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
