1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
