I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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