he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
