Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he shaved USA in his pubs
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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