Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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