1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
