i just had sex bonerless
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
