Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
