is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
