i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
