He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
