My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
