After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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