Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
