so let's talk penis.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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