I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
