i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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