Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
