Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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