please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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