I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
