is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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