Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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