I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
