WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
soo... how was my night?
Randomize