Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize