there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Damn victory sex feels great
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