a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
