I'm laying in your front yard are you home
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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