u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
