Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
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Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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