I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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