Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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