brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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