What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
