D3 body, D1 cock
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
