I want to have your abortion
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
