I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
