just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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