She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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