I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
