so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
