Cold hands, warm shart.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
