Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
