Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
