just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
