Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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