You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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