never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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