Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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