she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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