ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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