We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
